Ask me anything – The disclaimers edition

Summary

Sky Map comes with no warranties! If you choose to use it to navigate the high seas and you hit an iceberg, it’s your responsibility. If you tell your kids that the bright thing in the sky is Jupiter and it turns out to be a UFO and you are subsequently kidnapped by aliens – not our responsibility. If your kids subsequently fail their science homework – not our responsibility. If it wipes all the data in your phone, including the photos of the UFO that were going to make you rich – not our responsibility. If it causes your phone to tear a hole in the fabric of space and time, OK – that one is on us. Any other calamities not listed above — not our responsibility. Don’t use it while driving or carrying scissors.

Continue reading “Ask me anything – The disclaimers edition”

There are 10 Kinds of People

Binary Numerals
Binary Numerals

A comp sci joke claims that there are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary numerals and those who don’t. Being a former computer science student myself, I find it tickles my funny bone. Continue reading “There are 10 Kinds of People”

Ask Me Anything: “The Netherlands welcomes Trump in his own words” Edition

The description of this video says, “The whole world was watching for the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States: Donald J. Trump. Because we realize it’s better for us to get along, we decided to introduce our tiny country to him. In a way that will probably appeal to him the most.” Hilarious.

Now that the humor and silliness is done, it’s time to get serious. What’s on your mind?

Eddie Izzard on Language

Time for a comic relief from all the seriousness this place has descended to. The typewriter monkeys have been complaining. A bit of levity would do them good. So here’s a bit of humor and silliness. It’s one of my favorite stand-up comics, the incomparable Eddie Izzard. Since I mentioned typewriter monkeys, this excerpt from one of his shows is appropriate. To fully appreciate it, it is good to know a bit of French. I understand only a bit — un peu — of French. Mostly safe for work but he does use the occasional 4-letter word.

Contributing for a public good

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road near the Parliament building in N Delhi. Nothing was moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped the politicians. They’re asking for a Rs 1,000 crores ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car collecting donations . . .”

“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “Roughly two liters.”

Trending: Writing to the White House demanding visa denial to those one dislikes

It had to come to this: people running to Uncle Sam complaining that they have been teased at school by someone they did not like the looks of. Taking a cue from the 65 members of the Indian parliament (what a bunch of retarded wankers) who wrote to the POTUS demanding that Modi be denied a US visa, now 65 members (that’s the whole bunch) of the Sadbhavana Group Housing Society of Rohini, Delhi have brought their complaint to the POTUS as well. Don’t know how the letter they wrote became public; perhaps Snowden or that Assange fellow had something to do with this leak. But anyhow, here’s the full text of the letter presented for your benefit. Please feel free to use it as a template to write your own letter to the POTUS regarding that idiot neighbor who plays his stereo too loud.
Continue reading “Trending: Writing to the White House demanding visa denial to those one dislikes”