“You’re T. S. Eliot,” said a taxi driver as he stepped into his cab. Eliot asked him how he knew. “I have an eye for celebrities,” he replied. “Only the other evening I picked up Bertrand Russell, and I said to him, ‘Well, Lord Russell, what’s it all about?’ And, do you know, he couldn’t tell me.”
— Valerie Eliot (her favorite story about her husband)
Jean Paul Sartre goes into a café, sits down and calls over the waiter. “I would like a coffee – but without cream.” The waiter looks alarmed and says “I’m sorry Monsieur we are completely out of cream! Perhaps there is something else Monsieur would like to take his coffee without?”
Two Jews walk past a sign on a Catholic Church: CONVERT TODAY AND GET $200. On a dare, one of them goes in. After ten minutes, his friend sees him emerge:
“So? How was it?”
“Not so bad. A bit of Latin. Some water. No problem.”
“What about the $200?”
“Wow. You people really are all about the money, aren’t you?”
Life is a Random Draw 