Stopping terrorism by securing WiFi

Well, now we can be assured of our security and safety from Islamic terrorism. TRAI — the Telecom Regulatory Authority of India — is taking steps to combat terrorism by securing WiFi networks.

With terrorists using unsecured wireless fidelity (WiFi) networks to shoot off emails every time they carry out bomb blasts, TRAI is examining a series of measures to have security processes in place to protect such networks. [Source]

Once the WiFi networks are secure, Islamic terrorists will not be able to use them to send emails to mass media claiming responsibility and justifying their mass murders based on ideology. This will have the salutary effect of the terrorists stopping their mass murders because (if one were to go by the reasoning of the telecom authorities) their main reason for killing innocents was clearly that insecure WiFi networks are scattered all over the country.

I suppose soon enough internet service providers will be forced to look over your shoulder while you use their services. Lots of employment possibilities here. But wait! What if terrorists figure out that they can use phones to call the media? No problem. The government will require people to sign a register somewhere stating who you are calling and what you are calling about. That would close that loophole. Now at last there will be no bombings. Unless of course, the holy warriors of Islam decide to use the postal service. One cannot be too careful, can one? So the next step will be to get a bureaucrat’s permission before using the postal services.

Good. So we have finally got the terrorism problem licked. Just prevent the terrorists from communicating with the mass media. Don’t bother looking into the ideology that motivates them. After all, their ideology cannot be very important. They merely claim that it is their ideology of subjugating the whole world through terror is what motivates them to commit mass murder. That is just a claim and it is clearly smart to totally disregard that. What the government must focus on is to foil the terrorists’ attempts at emailing, telephoning, and writing letters. Do that and the terrorists will lose all interest in their avowed goal of claiming India for Dar-ul-Islam.

Author: Atanu Dey


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