What’s a “Patwa”?

A fatwa is a religious decree made by a mullah. A “patwa” is like a fatwa but made by Patil. A patwa, like a fatwa, is not based on reason or logic. But it is not just a matter of whim, a fancy, a just-like-that sort of thing. It is calculated to serve Patil’s and her masters’ interest.

I know you would like a ‘fer instance’ or two. Some time ago, a patwa was issued declaring that there be an international airport at Amravati. You may be confused: you have not even heard of this one-horse town close to Nagpur (the fair city of my birth).

Yes sir or madam, that is what Amravati chiefly needs–an international airport. That is if by “chiefly needs” one means something like “a fish chiefly needs a bicycle.” From the almost infinite list of things that Amravati lacks, Patil’s fatwa, or patwa, was that it needs an international airport. Why international, you ask? That’s because of the new patwa.

The new patwa is that Amravati needs an IIT. Yup, an Indian Institute of Technology. But wait there’s more. The IIT is “Indira Institute of Technology.” Why, you ask, does “India” get transformed into “Indira.” Well, as they say in Hindi, Patil has done a lot of roti baylna for the family Family and she got to be El Presidente and now more rotis are being baylow-ed. Besides, she recalls that “indira is india” and “india is indira.” So, IIT stands both for Indira as well as Indian institutes of technology. Or is it now “Institute of Indira Technology”?

Anyway, the new IIT is going to be only for women. Only women, you ask? What is with this gender discrimination? Is she the president of Saooodi Arabia, as The Acorn suspects? Will she require that women go about clad in black tents while studying at IIT in Amravati? And what about the international airport? Will the flights be between Saoodi Arabia and Amravati?

Don’t know. Let’s just hope that the Family sticks to pizza delivered from Italy so that they can dispense with the roti baylna of Patil and we are all spared the patwas.

[Background information: Pratibha Patil wants an IIT in her constituency.]

One thought on “What’s a “Patwa”?

  1. lurker Friday March 14, 2008 / 4:21 am

    Burns me up too. ..In that single IIT proposal she managed to surpass all bounds of logic, propriety and accountability.

    I did not know about the International Airport at Amravati proposal.
    -Boston Brahmin


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