Fragments — 12 (Favorite Lines)

On Saturday afternoons in Berkeley, California, I would to listen to Michael Feldsman’s show What Do You Know? on KALW 91.7 which starts off with the question “What do you know?” and the audience responds “Not much! And you?”

I like that sort of stuff. Opening lines and closing lines, I mean.

For instance, on Garrison Keillor’s radio show A Prairie Home Companion , he always ends his monologue with “That’s all the news from Lake Woebegone — where the women are strong, the men are good looking and all the children are above average.”

Many years ago I used to be a big fan of Dave Allen, a British commentator on TV commentator on British TV with a show called “Dave Allen at Large.” He had a unique style. The setting was simple. He would sit on a high stool dressed in a suit. He delivered a monologue on all sorts of topics. He would smoke and drink scotch whisky during his monologue. And he would always end his show with the line, “Thank you, good night, and may your god go with you.”

Movies provide great lines as well. Sholay was a mine for great lines such as ”Tera kya hoga, kalya?”. One of my all-time favorites is from the movie The Sixth Sense where the boy confides that “I see dead people!” You have to say it in a tiny hoarse whisper. When I say it, it just cracks me up.

Indian Reservations

George Bernard Shaw with characteristic cynicism noted that a government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. Regardless of their specific stripes, all Indian governments, because they are “democratically” elected, naturally solve the problem of identifying the Peters and the Pauls by a numbers game: Pauls must outnumber the Peters. So it should come as no surprise that yet another idiotic scheme is hatched by the party in power to gain the support of a large underclass by promising them something that will not in any substantial way be of any use to them but gives the appearance of providing relief. Continue reading