It had to come to this: people running to Uncle Sam complaining that they have been teased at school by someone they did not like the looks of. Taking a cue from the 65 members of the Indian parliament (what a bunch of retarded wankers) who wrote to the POTUS demanding that Modi be denied a US visa, now 65 members (that’s the whole bunch) of the Sadbhavana Group Housing Society of Rohini, Delhi have brought their complaint to the POTUS as well. Don’t know how the letter they wrote became public; perhaps Snowden or that Assange fellow had something to do with this leak. But anyhow, here’s the full text of the letter presented for your benefit. Please feel free to use it as a template to write your own letter to the POTUS regarding that idiot neighbor who plays his stereo too loud.
The President of the US,
The White House
1600 Penn. Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20500
July 24, 2013
Subject: Human rights violations in Rohini area of state of Delhi and the US Policy on Mr. Vikas Gupta s/o Mr. Laxmi Charan Gupta
Dear Mr. President,
We, the undersigned members of the Madhyam Vargiya Sahkari Awas Samiti, Rohini, Delhi, are writing to express our concern about the possibility of US granting Visa to Mr. Vikas Gupta (son of Mr. Laxmi Charan Gupta), resident of ‘Sadbhavana apartments in Sector 15, Rohini.
Mr. Vikas Gupta is seeking a US Visa (for the second time) for his MS in Computer Science from Georgia Tech. Your kindself may please note that the said Mr. Vikas was denied a Visa on his previous attempt, under section 212(a) (2) (g) of the ‘Immigration and Nationality Act as he was deemed ‘responsible for severe violations of religious freedom. Specifically, the charge related to Mr. Laxmi Charan Gupta, despite being a rich Hindu, refusing to contribute more than INR 5001 towards Samitis ‘Pehla Vishal Sai Jagran with 21000 Watt Sound.
As you may recall, last year Mr. Gupta had illegally constructed an extra room on the Block A roof after buying the silences of Mr. Arora (myself, Secretary), Col. Gaur (Treasurer) and Mr. Singh (President). While he did pay us in good time, his lofty promise of having frequent ‘Liquidity Sessions inside the ‘Rooftop Paradise has come to naught.
On September 11, 2012, while every Indian was re-mourning the ghastly events of 9/11, Mr. Vikas Gupta, was busy driving his new BMW 320d (white color, registration no. DL4 CAH 0911) around the society complex with trumpet horn blaring and Honey Singhs blasphemous songs playing full volume. As Mr. Sushil Shinde, our Home Minister, must have apprised you, the songs of Honey Singh were responsible for majority of rapes in India during 2012-13.
The Guptas regularly commit mass murder of peoples egos by wearing Rado watches even during the morning walk when ‘Sadbhavana seniors meet to discuss Indias failing economy and mid-day meal deaths around the country. Mr. President, it may be pertinent to note here that a distant relative of Guptas in Bihar deals in pesticides. Also, last Thursday, Mr. Gupta forgot to pay for post-walk tender coconut water for everyone.
Mrs. Guptas appearances at the ‘Sadbhavana kitty parties are also an affront to human rights. As Mrs.Singh, Mrs. Dhamija and Mrs. Pandey have repeatedly pointed out, why does a woman, with a missing sense of dress, wear new gold and diamond jewelry every month, if not for mass murder of innocent Indian women? You may like to discuss this particular atrocity with Michelle Ji.
To worsen the pogrom, now Mr. Vikas Gupta wants to go and study Computer Science in US after scoring only 89% in Class-XII and getting JEE rank of only 172, while many ‘Sadbhavana children with higher marks had to settle for the newly launched Delhi University B.Tech. (not AICTE approved!)
In view of the above cited atrocities, we as human beings and the members of the ‘Sadbhavana(meaning ‘Communal Harmony) group housing society, respectfully urge you to direct the State Department to refuse Visa to Mr. Vikas Gupta (Application no. 30127692) once again. Such a refusal will represent a formidable defense of the principles of human rights.
As India and the United States address the challenges facing our societies, the time to (once again) come together on issues of human rights and justice could not have been more opportune. We sincerely urge you to fulfill our request and stand in solidarity with the survivors, human rights activists and all those who value justice and freedom.
(Narender Mohan ‘NaMo’ Arora)
Sadbhavana Group Housing Society
Enclosure: List of 64 other Society members with names and signatures.
PS: A friend emailed me this with the intro “The US embassy fears that it could soon be dragged into saas-bahu fights if the current trend continues.” I am sorry I don’t know who to attribute this gem to. Thank you for the laughs.
PPS: I learned from twitter and other sources that it is from Faking News. I should have googled to figure out the source but I did not. If Faking News wants this taken down, I will comply. Otherwise, the post stands, of course with the attribution here.
— Suraj (@SurajJt) July 26, 2013
Categories: Humor and Silliness